Archive for the ‘Working class hero…’ Category

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Life in the Cubicle: Save Nature Vs. Psychokiller Fun

October 23, 2008

Here’s the corporate deal: Every big multinational company has declared, that they really really want to save mother earth, and they are the greenest motherf**ers on the globe. We have these signs in mails that warn you about Crodociles dying in the Amazon with each print you make, which actually makes sense. But we also have these new signs now: Turn off the Light if you are not inside the room. This should be logical when you are in the kitchen because you can see if someone else is there, unless you are blind or you are simply an ignorant prick.

I already had some thought-travel to the bathroom area, and I have to guide the dear reader once again to the office odor-factory. When you are doing brick laying, you usually do that in silence, and with a closed door (I know that some people missed class when they teached toilet-manners). So imagine when one of the people with less IQ come in for a dump, and finish earlier then you. They don’t realise that someone else is there, so they just turn the lights off. Lights are off, and it’s dark, and you are sitting alone.

It just happened with me yesterday, and I got scared… believe it, it was a horror.

Another thing is the lights in closed corridors. The only switch is on one end, and you are trying to get through the long room from the other end, before the door you used to enter is closing. Its like the feeling when you know that zombies are coming after sunset. Howeer, the f**ing corridor is way too long to make the long run and get to the exit, before the other door (which gives some light) closes. And when you are just trying to find your way in the dark to the exit, and suddenly someone opens the door and sees that a fast walking man is coming right that way from the pitch black darkness… not a horror, but hilarious to see their faces.

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When nature calls in the office, don’t answer…

April 17, 2008

Okay, so I’ll take the barrier down and go with the flow once. I always tried not to even get near a topic which involves toilet culture, shit, piss or anything that comes out of you… it’s not funny, and even in Harold and Kumar, the scene with the battleshits, were two wanna-look-hot babes are fart fighting in the restroom was everything but not even near fun.

But I have to burn down the wall of shitlessness, since I have to admit, sometimes even I make jokes about shit, however I never wanted to publish any material related to that. The reason for this is very simple. Once you tell a joke which is ugly but funny everyone will laugh, then after a day or two, if the thing comes up again, they’ll say “oh remember that joke with the shit? You said that right?”, and then you can simply reassign the case to someone who is not present or just say “I don’t remember”. But posting one thing about smelly stuff can return to your face in 10 years or so, when you are running for the position of the US President… probably when you’ll face Hilary Jr and Little Obama, someone will eventually rip your ears out and shout “what have you done you bastard?” But since I’m not even planning to become president of any country or cult, I’ll just say this out…

The thing about Office toilets is that I hate them. We have one public, and one for those who have to use a wheelchair, but basicly everyone uses this. The difference between a normal restaurant- or street-restroom and an average office toiletroom is that this one is used by the fucking same people all the fucking time…

And yes, let’s admit it, it happens to everyone that you just let out some smell, or let’s call it odor… but the problem is that when you go in, get strucked by the powerfull nosebleeder, you have to realize that this is only the beginning of the trauma. We are not talking about dangerous poison here, it’s just a small odor, that barely tickles your nose. But it’s there, and this is the reason why it’s so goddamn powerful! You only go in to take a piss, but when you are about to wash your hands, someone pops in, feels the odor, thinks you were the one who played fart-o-mania, and after the next ten minutes the whole building is running chain e-mails about your bad restroom hobbies ala Fart-Fart-Revolution…

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At last… time is given

April 16, 2008

The last couple of days (or it may be even more correct to say weeks) were full of stress and timeconsuming activities. I had to move from one apartment to the other, and organising the whole transportation and stuff took more time then expected.  Although I’m still surrounded with rubbish filled bags while sleeping in the new bed, it’s more pleasent now, and time is back to do some stuff.

This monday I took a holiday just to regenerate a bit. Bought some stuff, went around the city… usual stuff. I also picked up this month’s Gamestar magazine, because I was really excited about how the grafic guys stylished my article about Platform development. It was my first 4 page long stuff, and I am really proud of my self, that the words I wrote are now in the first half of the mag. I usually do some intellectuel stuff in the end of the magazine, which is kinda like a filler, but they are always about interesting topics.

Anyways, stress is over… so relaxing can be priority 1 at last… however I still have to do something about my tax stuff. I really hate all of this tax shit. Finding papers finding stuff… ARGH!!!!

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Where the F you’ve been?

April 3, 2008

I haven’t really posted anything in the past few days… feels like months or years. I’ve had so much work packed on my back like the little donkey in those ads on MTV which make you feel terrible cause you don’t even care about such things and you don’t donate all your saved pennies for the overproductive animal…

I couldn’t really do anything, all I remember is that I had the chance to watch SouthPark every day before going to sleep, but that didn’t do much, because what I did was like waking up in the morning, getting even more work than what I should  do, then finishing in the afternoon going home to realize I still have more work at the other place I work, and when I did all that stuff I set down to have a cigarette with chocolate flavoured milk, enjoying the random shit and weird stuff which comes with watching a whole episode of south park…

But Now I’m free like a bird once again, and I have some spare time to get back to this site, and flame my fingers by typing random stuff and posting them on the web… what a life…

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Day-Off – 10:21

March 17, 2008

Okay, so I took some eggs, some bacon, some sausage, onions, mixed the whole thing over fire, and taadaaaaam, here comes the fine meal! Okay, it was none of those topmodel greatlooking stuff but it tasted well, and since I’m no where near a cook, I did a good job! Excellent!

sugar spice and everything nice

Oh, and just to see what’s out there: cloudy weather, so I still don’t know if taking long walks would be fine… lucky me the plaza is just on the other side of the street, so getting stuff for lunch won’t be a problem.

aaaah the nice… I mean terrible view…
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Project Day-Off – 9:00

March 17, 2008

Today I got one day-off, so I’m going to maximize the fun. Usually I’m doing lazy stuff like… nothing, but not today.

An average weekend starts at 12:00 for me… or maybe even later. Today I woke up at 9:00, already had my share of milk and had my morning cigarette, so I can get to the part where I’m making breakfast myself. I never really do that, usually I just buy sandwiches or chocolates at the small shop near to the office.

So let’s get cooking!

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You WANT TO work here…

March 9, 2008

Believe me I thought I have like the best place to work at (and still it is…) but after checking out an article about how the Google guys in Zurich work I kinda had to rethink everything…

I really love where a company has some sense of humour, and gives you the feeling of  “creativity combined with professionalism”. Yeah, these guys know how to handle their employees. I’m not doing bad, but comparing what I got with this… I get the same experience as Jake Gyllenhaal did in Jarhead…

Anyways, it’s good to see that such companies exist… makes me wanna work at a place like this some day.

IKEA vs Google lolz